Deb – just keep swimming

Alydia had a betta fish in her bedroom named George who lived a long and happy life. He was followed by Floyd, a pink betta who met his final demise a few months ago. After that, Lyddi had a vacant 1-gallon tank. Our family fish tank in the living room is 55 gallons and contains many fish. On April 5, Alydia and her friend Isabelle realized that one of the neon tetras in the family aquarium was dead, but not exactly dead, but not really alive either…. The fish was floating at the top of the tank, was limp and looked totally lifeless, but it would suddenly spring to life and swim around. When it was floating at the top, the other big fish would bully it relentlessly like it was a giant food flake.

Alydia and Isabelle felt bad for the little fishy. They brought her beta tank to the kitchen and set it up on the counter, relocated the injured neon tetra, and named her Deb. Deb has been living on my kitchen counter ever since. Deb is quite the performer. She usually just hangs out on the surface of the water like a limp noodle. If you tap the side or feed her, she dives down and starts doing funny backwards lopsided cartwheels. It’s awkward and beautiful. I wasn’t thrilled about becoming the primary guardian of Deb at Mimi’s Quarantine Rehabilitation Center for Incurably Crippled Fish, especially now that I have a kitten, Bean, who also enjoys making Deb do funny gymnastics. One day Bean will find the hole in the tank and it will all be over for Deb.

Hermione and I made a trip to PetSmart today, but she was very sad at the selection of bedazzled pink collars that are not available in her size. She’s a large girl, but she still wants to look fabulous too, just like any girl. She already struggles with a gender identity crisis because everyone assumes she’s a boy because she’s 105 lbs. We did find her a lovely pink Kong collar. However, it was evident that the little yappy purse dogs definitely get to wear all of the really cute collars. (It’s a rainy day in St Louis so she also had to wear her raincoat).

Anyway, I digress. I found the solution for Deb. A solitary confinement tank (that’s actually intended for breeding fish). I put Deb back in the big tank, and now the giant danios won’t be constantly booping her, and she’s out of the kitchen. And now, here she is, I present to you the incredible Deb in her lovely new penthouse suite. I want to add some plants and decorations to her new pad, but I probably can’t weight it down since it’s floaty.

Go, Debbie Drowner – just keep swimming!